


Who I Want To Be

by DigitalThespian



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Torture, Other, Reader-Insert, Scars, Self-Indulgent, it's not explicit at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 06:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigitalThespian/pseuds/DigitalThespian
Summary: Catra tells you how she feels, about a lot of things.





	Who I Want To Be

**Author's Note:**

> Hey it's me, ya boi, here with some self-indulgent Catra/Reader. I'm not projecting, _you're_ projecting!

"Hey.. Catra.. Wake up, hon." You gently sit on the edge of the bed. "Cat, come on, I'm hungry, let's go eat. I found a great brunch place."

Catra groans and rolls over to face you. "It's too early, let me sleeeep.."

You chuckle. "Cat, it's 10:30. It's really not that early." You set a hand on her shoulder, and stroke gently with your thumb. "I can let you sleep if you want though."

She looks at you, then closes her eyes and holds her arms out. "Good. Now come here."

You climb back into bed, kicking off your shoes and letting Catra wrap her arms around you. "Alright, but only for a bit. I've still got work to do, you know." You smile as a low rumbling sound fills the room, Catra's breathing even and slow.

_Gods, she's so cute. She's already asleep again. And the purr..! ..well, I suppose I can rest my eyes too, for a bit. It's just so soothing.._

 

* * *

 

You slowly come back to consciousness to find that Catra has woken before you. She's standing in the kitchen with a frustrated expression. "Lousy piece of.. it's a toaster, why does it have so many buttons?"

You smile softly. "Hey, Cat." You stretch. "I should have known better than to let you drag me back into bed. What time is it?"

She looks sheepish. "12. I was trying to have brunch ready, but then the toaster wasn't cooperating," she shoots it a dirty look, "and then it was a challenge, and you know how I get."

You laugh. "Yeah, I do know. It's something I love about you. Come on, let's go to that brunch place I was talking about."

Catra looks a little nervous. "Are you sure? I know the war's over, but I still don't think people like me all that much. Ex-Horde Commander and all."

You smile sadly and get up, walking over to pull Catra into a hug. "Yes, I'm sure. I work for Entrapta now, remember? I hear all the nice things she says."

You chuckle. "She _really_ can't read a room, so she just talks about how you and Scorpia took care of her and listened to her even if people are uncomfortable hearing about you guys. It's not like they can argue with her, she's a Princess, and even if she wasn't, you know Entrapta. Arguing just.. doesn't really work." You set your chin on her shoulder, and lean your head into hers, nuzzling her neck. "People know about the good that you did, whether they wanted to or not."

She holds you tighter. "Thanks. And worst case scenario I'm with you, they can't really hurt the Dean of the new Dryl Technical Institute, now can they?" She pulls back enough to smirk at you. "I'll just hide behind you."

"Thanks. I feel so loved."

"You love me."

"Without a doubt. Now let's get some food, yeah? Your heated battle with the toaster can wait. Or I suppose it's decidedly NOT heated, considering the issue at hand."

"Oh, shut up. You know as well as anyone that things were idiot proof in the Fright Zone. At least, unless they were designed to be dangerous. It'll be useful, they said. Keeps you on your toes, they said." Her expression turns dark. "I still have nightmares about cadets who were caught off guard in training.."

"Hey, we're out of that place, and even better, you burned it to the ground yourself. No one ever has to suffer there again. And that's because of you." You put your hands on her cheeks and run your thumbs over her cheekbones. "Even if some people refuse to see it, you'll always be a hero to me."

She's frozen, staring at you with wide eyes. "I- I uh, thanks? I mean, thank you, that means a lot." Her gaze softens, and she smiles. "I.. I love you too."

Your eyes widen. "Cat, you-"

She takes your hands off her face gently, but doesn't let go. She looks down at your joined hands. "I've been thinking. About what I want. About who I want to be, after... after the war. What use is a soldier with no war to fight?"

You squeeze her hands gently. "Catra, you're more than just a soldier."

"No, no I'm not." She looks you in the eyes. "Not yet. I see Scorpia rebuilding her kingdom from the ashes of the Fright Zone, I see Entrapta advancing technology for all of Etheria. I see you, managing her apprenticeship program in Brightmoon. And it made me realize.. none of you were doing those things before the war either. Why not me? What's stopping me from giving back?"

She takes a deep breath. "It's always been me. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that people won't let me help. I'm afraid I'm just the bloodthirsty general I was during the war. But.. mostly I'm afraid of disappointing you. Even though you were _there_ , you saw me do _so many_ awful things first hand, you always had my back if we were doing the right thing, even if it meant getting in trouble. You always pushed me to be better, you'd never back me up if I was just being vindictive or cruel, and I resented that at the time, but.. When the time came, you helped Scorpia and I get Entrapta out of the Fright Zone. You covered for us."

She touches a hand to your collarbone, and traces her fingers over the branching scar spreading from your neck to your shoulder. "I'm sorry. I knew you would.. I knew what they would do to you. I thought it was _'acceptable losses',_ " She scoffs. "Even after that you still came and found me. After I left you to take the fall for my escape." She puts a hand to your cheek. "You're probably the most selfless person I know, except for maybe Adora. But you always had the grit to do what needed to be done, too."

She leans in and kisses you gently. "You believed in me. You and Adora. Maybe her and I could have been this close, once, but her leaving... I know it was the best for Etheria, but it still hurt. I know it's not fair, and I'm sorry that I'm bringing this up now, but-"

You smile. "Cat, I can't blame you for having attachments to people. That's a normal thing to do, to have. I'm not worried about you leaving me for Adora. Now go on, sorry for interrupting."

She chuckles. "Thanks. I guess what I'm saying is.. out of everyone I've ever met, no one ever supported and believed in me the same way you did. You've always been patient with my flaws." She closes her eyes and pulls you into a hug, her forehead on your shoulder. "I've done a lot of thinking."

"So it would seem." You put a hand on the back of her head and hold her gently.

"I realized I want to be my own person, not be defined by my past.. and I realized I don't ever want you to leave. I want to be for you what you've always been for me." She pulls away enough to look at you. "I want to love you the way you love me. And the only thing stopping me from doing that was my own fear, of rejection, of being hurt again." She rests her forehead against yours. "But I have nothing to be afraid of. You've never been anything but good for me, whether I would admit at the time it or not. I don't have to be afraid. I'm still working through it, but.."

"But..?"

"But I want to take that journey with _you_. I love you."

You tear up a little. "Cat, I love you too. You know that, but I promise I'll do everything I can to keep you safe from people who can't or won't see the good in you. And there's so much good in you." You pull her into a bear hug, tears running down your face. "Gods, I'm a mess, I'm sorry."

"Ack! Too tight!"

"Oh! Sorry, I kinda pulled a Scorpia there, huh?"

"A little bit, but it's okay. So. You wanna go to that brunch place still?"

"Definitely. Though I need to get myself together first."

“Take your time.” She smiles. “I'll always be willing to wait for you.”

You burst into tears again, but your smile has never been bigger. "Cat! You know I'm a sap, you can't just say stuff like that and expect me _not_ to cry!"

"Well, good thing I'm willing to wait, then, huh?" She gently wipes the tears from your cheeks.

"I suppose you're right. Thanks, Catra."

"Of course." She smiles and takes your hand, leading you to the door. "So where is this place anyway?"

“It's a rooftop cafe on the Brightmoon DTI campus.” You smirk at her. “There's a place to park a skiff, you up to take a ride?”

She grins. "I was born ready."

 


End file.
